Finding Your Path Again
The chariot card represents the path we take in life. It can signal that we are striving towards our goals, or it can signal that something is blocking our way. We've all had times where we felt uncertain where to turn next, or that we've lost our purpose. And while it can feel like an emotional crisis, there are steps we can take to ease our mind and embrace the unexpected. Let's talk more about it in this episode.
Thank you for tuning in to an episode of Merwin's Philosophy, where I explore the connection between spirituality and psychology and how that coincides with social issues we face today. Now here's the show.
[00:00:38] Now first off, I just want to say that I'm excited about this episode because it is my 10th episode. When I first started this podcast, my goal was to make at least my first 10 episodes just to see if I wanted to do it, wanted to stick with it, but I am enjoying diving into topics of spirituality because it affects so many other areas of our life. It affects our outlook in life, and it also can affect our decision making during certain dilemmas.
Even if you're not religious or spiritual, there may be philosophical teachings that you follow, that you believe in, that are very similar to spirituality. In fact, during my research, I've come to realize how much spirituality and philosophy are very similar to one another. Just one seems a little bit more pedantic to me, despite my podcast title, but I am having fun during this journey so far.
And if you've been following along the podcast so far, you know that we have been looking at the practice of tarot. However, I do plan on talking about other religions and spiritual teachings as I continue to learn myself. In fact, I am currently reading a book on Western Esotericism, which is a scholarly study of esoteric beliefs such as astrology, witchcraft, and even cartomancy and divination practice such as tarot.
I do find it fascinating and I will broaden this topic in the future, but for now, let's return to the Life Journey series that we have been going with. The Life Journey series is based on the practice of tarot, more specifically the 22 cards that make up the major arcana. And these 22 cards represent some sort of phase in our life.
And it's very easy to connect these with psychological terms that we all experience from time to time and how these two are related to trends and phenomena that we see in greater society. Now, because there are 22 cards, I have been breaking down each card as we've been talking about them in previous episodes, but I'm going to break them down into three parts, three chunks to make it just easier to digest.
So this first part that we've been talking about would be cards one through eight, which would be from the Fool to the Lovers. In previous episodes, very quickly, I will just list those off. The first one we looked at was the Fool, which represents the beginning of our journey. The second one was the Magician, which represents our willpower and motivation, as well as the resources that we have available to us or lack of.
Next is the High Priestess, which represents our intuition and gut instincts. Then you have the Empress and then the Emperor, which represents our self care and the other one our self empowerment. The Hierophant, which was community support, guidance, and conventional wisdom. And then the last two episodes, we looked at The Lovers, which I broke down the concept of love into platonic and then romantic. And I broke them further down into seven types over the course of two episodes.
And for this episode, we're looking at The Chariot, which again, represents the journey itself and how we experience being on the right path versus feeling lost in life. I touched on this during the Hierophant episode, which was episode seven, when we looked at conventional wisdom and community support. But this episode takes a more personal look at it.
Part 1: The Chariot Card [00:04:05]
So as usual, I'll break this down into three parts. The first part I'll go into a little bit more of the spiritual aspect of the chariot card and what that means. In Part 2, we'll talk about the psychological terms, which will be related to an emotional crisis. And in Part 3, we'll conclude about how societal pressures can make us fall into an emotional crisis, depending on where we are in our life. So, as I said before, the chariot card seems to be about going forth in your journey with motivation, but in a more direct approach, guided by our willpower and inner voice.
Now, when you lay out a card in a spread, if you are playing with reversals, That card that is reversed or upside down can show that there is some kind of blockage in your life or that something is out of balance. And when the chariot card is reversed, it can be about charging forward in your goals but to the detriment of everything else. Again, , something's out of balance or you're feeling too unmotivated and internally blocked to continue ahead. Now if you've been following through the series it can sound similar to other cards and aspects that we've already talked about and so I kind of want to dive into a few of those previous episodes right quick.
[00:05:18] Now in episode two we talked about the magician which represented having resources, willpower, knowledge, and emotional bandwidth to go forward with the journey. Pair this with the chariot card and this can represent that you are moving forward in your life with all of the resources, and help, and support with you. However, if one of these are reversed or out of balance, it can show that you have all of the support and help and resources, but you're wandering aimlessly, not knowing how to utilize those resources.
And then episode three, we talked about the High Priestess, which again, was our intuition and our inner guidance and putting these two cards together, the High Priestess and the Chariot, can mean that we're going forth and making all the correct actions and we're on that path towards what we really want, we're following our intuition and it feels like everything is falling in place. However, if something is out of balance, it could mean that we are wandering around aimlessly in search of what we want. But without a clear path or the path that we're following is not actually what we want. Maybe we have fallen into a role or position or a job that we really don't want. Maybe we're pursuing a college degree because our family said that we should go this route, even though we really don't want to.
And then in Episode 6, we talked about the Emperor, which was all about our self empowerment, our sense of authority and control in our life. Pair this with the chariot, and again, it feels like we're striving for what we want. We have all of the resources and the authority and we're really going forth on a direct path. However, if one of these are reversed it could signal that we are trying to get what we want, but in an unfair way, maybe you're being manipulative or that we have some kind of control issues and our sense of power and autonomy is being diminished. Maybe from some kind of outside authority. And this can have us feeling like we're trapped. We have no say in our decision making. It can feel debilitating.
Part 2: Feeling Lost [00:07:18]
Now let's go on to part two and put this in psychological terms. Now, what I've mentioned is that the chariot car, the reverse, can feel like we are lost in life, that we have lost our sense of purpose, that we've lost our sense of direction.
Now, some of these specific causes can be that we have lost a sense of our routine and connection. Maybe we've changed jobs, maybe we've changed cities and locales. We've lost a loved one, so we're dealing with grief and death. We've had some kind of setback, such as a major illness, or we've lost our job. We are experiencing lack of a support system, such as close friends and family. We're dealing with schedule changes, which have brought about sleep issues. Or we dealing with an overwhelm of just important decisions, such as life crises, as much stress as college students have to go through. And we can also have societal pressures, such as other people's expectations of us. Which can be a bit much when you want to have a say so in your life, and you want to do other things in your life, but you're trying to follow everyone else's expectations for you. This can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves due to any suppressed emotions. And the emotional responses that we can have could be mood swings, crying, anger, other negative feelings and upset such as anxiety, and we can also have the silent ones such as feeling numb, feeling listless about life, being perpetually bored and unmotivated.
These can all signal that we are either having some kind of emotional crisis or we've just simply lost our way or feeling very uncertain about life. There's an article on the blog PsychCentral.com, if I can link it in my show notes and in the description it'll be there. But they list out a few tips to deal with this feeling of uncertainty.
[00:09:17] The number one thing to do is accept how you feel. This is very important. It's very important to not push your feelings aside and never acknowledging them can do more harm than good. We need to make space for these feelings and process them without demonizing them. I've heard people say phrases such as, I don't cry. I have no reason to be sad. Thinking that this makes them strong and reasonable and a stoic person. But all it does is just suppress the feelings. They will find a way to bubble up to the surface, and most times in unexpected ways, or even violent ways, that we had never anticipated. This doesn't make you some strong or stoic person by suppressing your feelings, but it keeps you in a state of denial and stagnation.
The problem is never the emotions, but us not having a healthy outlet or a healthy way of processing them. I'd wager that most of us were never taught a healthy way to deal with anger and anxiety and depression beyond, “oh just push your feelings aside, you have nothing to worry about”. No, that does more harm than good. You don't have to be suffering from a mood disorder to learn helpful techniques in processing your emotions.
The second thing we can do is be compassionate to ourself. I would refer us to listen to the episode on self care, because that's exactly what this is. Part of processing your emotions is being kind to yourself and giving yourself permission to take a break when you need to.
The third thing which would be really helpful is reflecting on your values. This is basically self reflecting and getting in touch with those things that you value in life and seeking out activities that are aligned with that. So for instance, I value knowledge. So I love researching and reading and looking for answers within books and other podcasts that are dealing with whatever issue I'm having. I've read plenty of books on depression, psychological issues, childhood trauma, because those Are issues that I have personally dealt with and it brought a lot of clarity and healing when, my family couldn't give me those answers. Matter of fact, I've started this podcast because I love sharing the knowledge that I have and having a platform to compile all my interests into.
However, volunteering may be your thing, or even something as simple as cooking and exercising because you value health. It doesn't have to be something big or grand, but something that feels like you're making some kind of progress or some kind of activities with those values. Now sometimes we can be our biggest critic, and if you have been harsh on yourself, you may not even know what your inner values are. But sometimes it's best to look outside of ourselves and recognize other values that we like about other people. That can signal certain values that we actually hold dear to us, because we see them reflected in other people.
Another thing we can do is attend inspirational events. Sometimes you just need to be around like minded people. And this can serve as inspiration and motivation on its own. This could be events in your town or sometimes something lavish, such as a retreat. It just feels good to connect with other people that kind of understand where you're coming from. Now, reaching out can be difficult for some. This is why I wouldn't suggest it as the first step, but if you're an extrovert or you really want to connect with other people, and that might bring you out of a funk, then this could help. I would also put support groups as well, because that is a way to connect with other people that are, if not like minded, at least have, are on a similar struggle, a similar path towards healing as you are.
And last but not least, seek help, especially when you are in the throes of something heavy such as depression and grief, having some type of therapist or counselor to help guide you towards healing, will be very beneficial. There are also books out there that are more psychological or self help books. Memoirs can give you a glimpse of somebody else's life who has been through a similar experience as you. There's all type of memoirs out there. Matter of fact, I'm actually reading a memoir and I have another one in my to be read pile on childhood trauma because that is something I've dealt with. And it's very interesting to hear other people's experiences as grown adults reflect back on their childhood and kind of see the similarities and how they have gone through it.
Part 3: Age Life Crisis [00:13:33]
Now everything that I've talked about so far could be considered an emotional crisis depending on how deep and entrenched those feelings of uncertainty and listlessness we may be dealing with. And that brings us to the topic of part three that I want to talk about, which is a quarter life and a mid life crisis.
Quarter Life Crisis [00:13:51]
Many of us have heard of what these two phrases mean, and we'll just start off with the first one. Now, a quarter life crisis is a period in our 20s and 30s where we're dealing with major life changes, such as increased financial dependence, responsibilities, we're making that transition from college into adulthood. And this sudden change can bring about anxiety and depression.
We're told that our twenties are supposed to be the best years of our life. And when we finish school and realize that it's not the reality, we can be pretty upset and uncertain about life. We feel underprepared. We feel lost. We're questioning life. We're wondering why life isn't happening the way we want it to. Now a positive way to look at this is that it is a period of self reflection and personal growth, even if it's challenging within the moment. So let's go through some signs and symptoms about this. And you'll recognize that a lot of what I've already talked about will be reflected in Part 2.
Some of these feelings of a quarter life crisis can include feeling uncertain about your identity, not quite knowing who you are, feeling like you can't trust your intuition, having a heavy feeling of FOMO or fear of missing out. Let's talk about that right quick. That can be exacerbated with social media and being chronically online. This gives us a skewered perception of reality based on what we're constantly exposed to, and many young people are addicted to their phones because of this fear, because of missing out on something. Other signs can be rapid changes, instability in relationships, an intense fear of the future. We can feel isolated and have some severe sense of apathy in our life, making us lack the motivation to even change.
Now, I would like to add that this is because of how intense these changes can be, especially in our late twenties, early thirties, for some of us that are starting families, for some of us that have been looking for a career aligned with our college degree or just in general. This could be a great time for therapy and going through personal growth books, counseling books. And I do realize that a lot of people in my generation and younger are taking mental health a little bit seriously than our parents and grandparents did. We have a lot more resources now. So this is a perfect time to consider therapy because this can be a very intense moment for young adults.
[00:16:09] Now, one of the main articles that I read talked about two elements to this. One is called the locked in crisis. And another one is called a locked out crisis. Locked in means we feel obligated to stay in a certain role, a career your family picked out or encourage you to pursue, certain gender roles, certain religions, such as Christianity, when you aren't really resonating with that anymore. And then the second version locked out means that you're feeling like you can't obtain certain desires and roles that you want.
I’m part of the Millennial generation, which is called the Unluckiest Generation. Because, you know, we're told that we should be able to buy homes, have thriving careers, especially , by our 30s, but many of us can't own a home. Many of us don't own a home. We can't afford a home. We can barely afford the rent. We don't have jobs that are aligned with our specific degrees. And it just feels like we can't get ahead in life. As compared to older generations, I think I've already talked about this before, but that's when you get the millennial versus boomer generations arguing with each other. I've seen the articles. I've seen the memes about boomers calling the millennials lazy. But again, when the boomers were our age, the economic system was completely different. The price of groceries were not, you know, 10 an egg. And so it wasn't something outrageous as we're dealing with now. And all of the recessions that we've had to deal with as millennials, which is why some scholars call us the unluckiest generation. And it doesn't mean nothing is possible. It doesn't mean that we are just stuck and never getting ahead in life, but it can feel like it. This a locked out crisis that , many of us may be going through.
Now there are some strategies particular to the quarter life crisis that may be helpful for some young adults going through this period of rapid change, this period of feeling lost and uncertain about life in general. And again, a lot of these would be echoed in what I said in part two. Number one, self reflection, which can include journaling and meditation. Our needs and goals and values are going to change as we continue through adulthood and through this transition.
I remember feeling very confused and like I was failing others because I kept making rapid changes through my career. In fact, I boxed myself in as a fiction writer and decided, “No, I don't really want to do that again. So let me make this transition into having a podcast.” That doesn't mean I'm never going to go back to writing fiction again, but I realized that I was boxing myself in because I told everybody, “Oh, I have two fiction books out” without realizing just how much it takes to write a fiction novel. It's a lot of work. I am not one of those that can just quickly put out a book very fast. I can't do that. So that is something that I reflected on and I embraced and I really wanted to make some changes and steps to do something new, hence the podcast. So if you're feeling a deep seated need to change, make those first steps and just see what happens.
[00:19:11] Which brings me to my next part, let go of expectations, which is the hardest thing for me to learn. Trying to achieve what you think you should be accomplishing is hard. And it just is a lot of shame if you don't hit those goals set by society and our family. We need to let go and embrace the change that we're going through and do it our way. Self acceptance, self care, and self compassion will help us during this journey.
The next thing is stop comparing ourselves to others. Social media can exacerbate this and have us questioning why our lives don't look like our peers. We have to remember that social media is just a highlight reel of somebody's life and we don't get the full story. Social media influencers will show us a hyper realistic version, a fantasy version, just based on aesthetics and clicks and views and it's never really the full picture. We also have to realize that our lives are not going to look like somebody else's exactly because we have our life and then they have their lives. Again, we need to heal our FOMO. We need to heal that fear of missing out. Sometimes we just need to put the phone down.
And last but not least, we need to give ourselves permission to be undecided and to change. Embracing the uncertainty that you're dealing with. Nothing stays forever. Life is about change when you're making a plan. I myself love to have a plan and love to have things set in stone, but that's not realistic. Feeling lost. Feeling of uncertainty. That is something that we have to embrace, and the more we embrace it, and the more we allow ourselves to go through a certain change, the more we'll get closer to forming an identity and future for ourselves.
Midlife Crisis [00:20:54]
So let's go on to a midlife crisis, which is very similar to a quarter life crisis. It's very similar. There is a sense of identity that is changing. There's many things in our lives that is changing or losses that we're going through. It's just going to look a little bit different because now we're talking about what life is in our 40s and 50s versus our 20s and 30s.
Now again, this is the one that some sources say that this is a social construct. It's not real. Not everyone goes through a midlife crisis. But that makes me think that it depends on the society you live in. I'm not sure if everyone in the world has a quarter life crisis, but if you live in America, where much of our country has rules and goalposts that you're supposed to hit at a certain age, there's no wonder that many adults say that they have a quarter life crisis, a mid life crisis, or have experienced both.
Our society at least in America is so focused on productivity and being a model citizen that it can be challenging to sit down and figure out what you want, let alone have the courage to go against the grain, especially since there's a real financial risk and social challenges and even lost opportunities if you do go against the grain.
So just like our young adults, those in their 40s and 50s, and I'm just going to say midlife, may be going through changes in their identity and relationships. You may have to take care of your elderly parents. The children have grown up and moved on. We may realize that our bodies are aging, bringing up our ideas of mortality.
This could also be a period of reflection. Some may have regrets. Others may become overly nostalgic and think about “when days were simpler”, quote unquote. And honestly, it's just looking at the past with rose colored glasses and not wanting to embrace the future and embrace the changes that have happened, especially to make life a lot easier for us. And yet others, instead of sitting and reflecting, may scramble to take some type of action. This is the stereotypical version of a midlife crisis that we see at least in media. Middle aged folks rushing to complete tasks and experiences that'll capture that youth again. Instead of embracing their current age, they're scrambling to make some grand gestures and accomplishments and do everything that they didn't do when they were younger.
[00:23:05] Major loss and changes reflecting over your midlife, coupled with life not going the way you expected, can lead to a mental health crisis over time. These changes do seem to happen around our midlife. Your 20s and 30s, the change that you're going through is transitioning to adulthood. However, your midlife is that changes that you're going through simply because you and your peers are aging. It's just, it's just life and it can be very scary and hard to deal with.
Conclusion [00:23:34]
Now the positives are the same. Curiosity at the unknown and uncertain can bring about new ideas. To wrap this section up, I would like to say that it's important to get help when you need it. And if you're trying to help someone who is having some sort of emotional crisis, whether it's a midlife crisis, a quarter life crisis, or just some type of emotional crisis in general, try to have compassion for that person and listen to their concerns. Not everyone is looking for a quick fix. Matter of fact, I would argue that there is no quick fix. It's a moment of uncertainty that we have to explore when we're going through these changes. Sometimes we go through major changes, which may include a new adventure such as a job or a school, or a loss such as a breakup or death in the family. These moments can make us feel depressed, anxious, and lost. We can feel like we've lost our purpose and meaning in life.
Yet, as challenging as these moments are, these are times of self reflection and insight that can bring a positive understanding in life. Allowing ourselves to be curious through these periods can spark new ideas. It's important to give ourselves permission to feel our emotions and the space to explore them. Don't shame yourself for these emotions, but also reach out for help when you feel like you need it. We never know where life is going to take us next. It's all part of the adventure of living. Stay safe and I'll see you in the next one.
Thank you for listening to this episode. If you're watching on YouTube, be sure to leave me a comment and subscribe for more. For those of you listening through a podcast app, make sure you subscribe and leave me a review. Click the link in the show notes or head on over to MerwinMcCrady.com to leave me a comment there. Thank you so much and I'll see you in the next one.
