Why I Got Rid of My Last Novel
Photo by Sarath Raj from Pexels
I had finished the draft, and was now in the revision stages. I kept tinkering with scenes and changing the plot. The characters were fleshed out more. But I felt like I was losing my way. I had reformatted a lot of the story and added themes I thought would make it more impactful. But the more I kept edited it, the more frustrating it got. I stepped away from it for a week, thinking fresh eyes would be the solution. Eventually, I figured it would be best to shelve it. So I did.
What I wasn’t expecting was the frustration and lack of confidence that brought with it. What if I take another year or two to come up with a new story? Did I just waste a bunch of time writing this story, only to give up on it? Should I let a professional editor look at it instead?
To be honest, I’m still a new writer. I haven’t been in the business long enough to have gone through this. The reason Staying Alive took me a few years to write is because it went through many iterations before the final product. I didn’t have my personal writing formula and habits down yet. Plus, it was my very first time writing a novel. My editor had to do a lot to help me get the story polished. I learned a lot from that process about my own shortcomings. Even my poetry book went through only one iteration before it was published as well.
I feel much more confident in my skills now, but this was an eye-opening experience. It takes skill and honesty to look at a story that you’ve worked months on and realize that it’s A) simply not working or B) not the story you want to publish yet. My issue was a combination of both. So what am I going to do now?
The last thing a writer does is give up altogether. I’m already a fourth of the way done with a new story. I have a much better idea of the characters, and I feel the story will be one most people, especially gay people, can relate to. It’s a story of change, family drama, and coming to terms with one’s own identity. Currently, there are two symbols I’m using to represent this concept of change. The first is a lenticular print. It’s a picture that changes depending on the angle you view it from. (Sort of like this one on Pinterest.) I’ve always been fascinated by these and have always wondered how these are made.
The second symbol I’m working with is gradient ceramics. (This one again from Pinterest is a better example). I made a few ceramics pieces in elementary school, but haven’t touched the medium since then. I’ve always found the process interesting but didn’t realize you could do gradient colors on ceramics pieces. just like lenticular prints, I find this technique mesmerizing.
Both these are things that the main character comes into contact many times, and they mark the changes he goes through in the story. I’m exciting about this new adventure and hope you are too. I don’t have a release date set yet, but hopefully I’ll have the first draft done in about a month or two.
